This one's gonna bruise

oh, and i forgot to mention my root canal. so if you are as tired of hearing about my teeth as i am about experiencing (over a loooong period of time) all these things, feel free to ignore this one.

i should probably also mention that this next paragraph is true, and somewhat funny to me, but probably pretty disgusting to most. you've been warned.

i did indeed get a root canal on thursday. no big deal, really--all those yahoos who talk about how some unsavory task is "worse than getting a root canal" obviously have a low annoyance threshold--and i'm in no pain at all right now. i am, however, freaked out by the feel of the offending tooth. if you've never gotten a root canal, they essentially drill the top off of the tooth, and then drill in and kill every living part of the tooth, because it's probably infected. yummy, huh? anyway, my tooth now feels kind of like what i imagine a lunar crater would feel like, if you shrunk it down and put it in your mouth. there's a ridge around the outside of the tooth, and then there's a pit. honestly, i can't feel the bottom of it--not that i would want to, but whatever. it's extremely unsettling, but has the effect of a bruise--i can't stop playing with it.

oh, and another thing i did not know prior to this experience: they get all the decay and crap out of your tooth using something that looks a lot like a very small, very skinny pipe cleaner. it felt like it, too.

the other thing is that the endodontist (i believe that's how it's spelled) was like some sort of dental savant. why? here's my mental list compiled while staring at the paneled ceiling:

he seemed really really young.

he explained everything to me over and over--don't get me wrong, i appreciated it (especially when compared to my regular dentist, who doesn't explain anything to me, and who i blame for the dragging out of my tooth problems over the span of four goddamn months), but i felt like he was forgetting that he told me things and telling me again. sort of like the absent-minded professor, but without dick van dyke or flubber.

he apologized a lot. i mean, he'd have to stretch my mouth to get the correct angle to use one of the pipe-cleaner-turned-dental-tool thingies, and he'd say, "oh, excuse me," or, "sorry." i appreciate him being polite, but it seemed a little odd. fella, your hands and assorted metal objects are already in my mouth, okay? my jaw is open to the point of nearly locking, okay? you're not inconveniencing me any more by moving my mouth around a little bit. but thanks for the sentiment.

he seemed to forget that i was actually a human being sometimes. he'd lean over me, giving me a six-inch-away view of his triceps. it seems as though he works out regularly.

most unsettling: while he was doing the work, sometimes he would close his eyes for about twenty seconds at a time. and sometimes his eyes would roll back in his head a bit. freak-tastic.

have i apologized yet for talking about my teeth on a weekly basis? if not, i apologize now. if so, ignore and accept the earlier apology, because i hate having to apologize twice.